According to a recent story from the New York Times Americans are increasingly feeling the pressure of raising children outside the context of marriage. In short we are witnessing the disintegration of the family in the United States (and all the western world for that matter) take place right before our very eyes. The article goes on to say that the only reason most Americans will even wade through the doll-drums of matrimony is to establish a stable financial structure on which to build a family upon. Even going so far as to say "It is the privileged Americans who are marrying, and marrying helps them stay privileged".May I quickly point out the logical implications of such a view on marriage?
For those who would say that the only practical reason to "tie the knot" is to build a stable economic platform for a family, you have to follow your logic to its end. First the obvious implication is that you should shoot to marry someone who is wealthy, and that perhaps not alone but certainly primarily should determine if someone is suitable to marry. Secondly(lets dig a little deeper now), lets imagine for a moment that you and your spouse try for several years to build a solid financial foundation for your family, but then tragically it fails miserably and you end up filing bankruptcy. According to the logic employed here, you should get rid of that spouse who is hindering your financial conquests, and look for one who is more entrepreneurial, or business savvy. After all, if marriage exists solely for economic security, then what basis do we have to preserve a failing marriage?
It's not as though people are not following the logical implications derived from such a view on marriage. Have we not seen the divorce rates sky-rocket? For not only first marriages, but second, and third marriages as well? The newest cultural development however, is to avoid the heart-ache associated with marriage all together and just cohabit or "shack up". This graph from a Washington research group (link below) shows the staggering amount of children born out-of-wedlock. As you can see the trend to have children outside the context of marriage has grown from that of the previous generation. So instead of a child having at least a shot at a mommy and a daddy who are committed to each other, now the child has to cycle through a seemingly unending line of boyfriends that mommy brings home. Boyfriends who perhaps show a fatherly affection towards the child for a time, but only because the goal is to get with mommy. Such is the fate of a society in which the word of God is so unilaterally rejected. There is no devotion to a spouse, or to children, or to the institution of marriage because there is no understanding of where marriage came from or what it represents. what the bible says in reference to Israel is so relevant for us today "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge"(Hosea 4:6). We will be destroyed, because we are not having enough children (our death rate is rapidly closing in on our birthrate), and we are not giving our children Godly instruction in order to make them into properly functioning adults. So whats to be done? As Voddie Baucham would say "I'm glad you asked".
We must return, return, return to a biblical view of marriage. Volumes have been written on this subject, but we will try to ascertain at least the general concept of marriage. To do this we will ask, and then answer three basic questions. First, "Where does marriage come from"? Secondly "Who can/should partake in it". Finally "What does marriage ultimately represent"? Let's see what scripture shows us.
Who created marriage? When the pharisees asked Jesus in Mathew chapter nineteen "Why did Moses permit divorce"? Jesus gives a great answer. He doesn't start with Moses, he takes the pharisees all the way back to Genesis, and shows them from whom the institution of marriage is derived. Listen to what Jesus says "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Mathew 19:4-6). Jesus gives a direct quote from Genesis "That a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife". The answer to the question is that God made marriage. Man did not come up with marriage on his own in order to benefit society, or to help preserve and perpetuate the species. No, God ordained the institution of marriage.
Who can/should be married? Again let's look at Genesis "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). There is no qualifying statement to this. God does not say "my people", or "Sons's of Adam" rather he simply says "man" and "women". So who should marry? Men who have the desire to engage in relations with women and women who have the desire to engage in relationship with men. These are the only parties allowed to take part in God's institution of marriage. Anything else (e.g; Homosexuality, sex outside the context of marriage) is a perversion of God's decree and is a crime against God (AKA sin).
What does marriage represent? Ultimately we don't find out the full answer to this question until Ephesians five. The fifth Chapter of Ephesians tells us that "For we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the Church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband"(Ephesians 5:30-33). Clearly Ephesians five tells us that marriage was ultimately given to represent the oneness that the Church experiences with Christ. Paul even references the same verse in Genesis to prove his argument!
So based on what the bible says we can dogmatically infer that God created marriage, that it was made for men to marry women and for women to marry men, and finally that it was made to represent Christ's relationship to the Church. This is a far cry from the culture's misconception of what marriage is and what it is for. Marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. It is a vessel by which the king of kings revives glory. We ought not to trend upon that vessel, but rather to prop it up and defend it. It is therefore our responsibility as followers of Christ to communicate the biblical outline for marriage to the culture and to do so lovingly. After all, what is the mark of a Godly marriage but that of love.
New York Times Article
Washington Research Group
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